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00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,840
[static and glitching]

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♪moody soul music♪

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♪Trouble is I know I        
       waited far too long...♪

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[Orna VO] What happens to      
    us early in life establishes

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a certain kind of blueprint as    
 to how the rest of life is gonna

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get experienced.

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[crying]

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[Orna VO] We're born in a state   
 of complete vulnerability and

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dependence.

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♪Trouble is I don't         
       know how to let it go♪

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♪Trouble is I'm someone      
       you think you know...♪

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[Orna VO] We take in, for     
    the first time, social order,

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hierarchies, what is        
     forbidden, what is allowed.

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All of that starts,         
       really, in the family.

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♪Someone else♪

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♪Someone else♪

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♪Trouble is♪

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♪Trouble is♪

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♪My trouble is♪

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♪Trouble is♪

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♪Trouble is♪

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♪Trouble is I'm just        
     scared of what comes next♪

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♪What comes next♪

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♪What comes next♪

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[woman, laughing] They       
     prepared for three people.

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[laughter]

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Can we switch sides?

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[woman] What...?

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No, I wanna sit on this side.

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[laughter]

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[Josh VO] Me and          
        Aryn met on OkCupid.

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She actually wouldn't have        
 identified as polyamorous,

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but I had a mutual friend that    
 I had reached out to and said,

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"Hey, do you know                 
 this Aryn woman?"

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And she was like,             
 "Oh, yeah! The poly girl?"

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I didn't even know I was poly; 
    I didn't even know that word,

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I just was.

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I was, like, communicating that 
   I was dating this one person in

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college and told him I was also 
    dating this other person and

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-checked in with them both...    
    -[Josh and Lorena chuckle]

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And they were like,    
           "Okay," and I was like,

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"Okay, great!"

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This really put me on a       
      rocket ship towards...

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what felt like, to              
 me, rewiring my brain.

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Like...

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For example?

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I mean, a million things!

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What's the thing that        
        pop into your head?

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There was this moment 
              where I was like...

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oh, Josh was sleeping      
      over, I lived at this, like,

51
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cool circus house that    
        a bunch of acrobats lived,

52
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there was a party, I   
            came back to the room,

53
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and I was like, "Josh,     
       there's a a guy over there,

54
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he's so cute.

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I would totally have sex with   
   him if you and I weren't here."

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-And I--              
         -I was devastated!

57
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[Aryn] I could not understand!

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[both laugh]

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So she couldn't           
    understand, and I was like,

60
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"How do you not           
         understand this?"

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Like, that's just, like, a thing 
 that you don't usually hear with

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the person that you're in      
     love wi-- I had, like...

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Aryn was like, "You can       
     be super upset about this,

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or we can just, like, use this   
   sexual energy for ourselves and

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our own arousal."

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And I was like...

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"What?!"

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Like, "How is that humanly     
 possible that I've never thought

69
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,055
about...

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doing that?"

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And then, me and Lorena      
    ended up matching on Bumble...

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and...

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in the most             
          unexpected way,

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completely fell     
              in love with Lorena.

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[Lorena] I've            
        been poly for years.

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I was just coming back onto the   
   dating scene after not dating

77
00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,120
for about three years.

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00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:07,747
I went through,                  
 like, a horrific,

79
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,083
horrific heartbreak,              
 and I was just like,

80
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"Forget about all of        
        it, not interested,

81
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,087
not worth it."

82
00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:16,255
And so it was surprising to       
 meet someone that was, like,

83
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,257
really wonderful and           
 thoughtful and interesting

84
00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:19,050
and...

85
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:22,095
got the poly thing, and Aryn was 
   actually a big piece of that.

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00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,597
Like, that was just, like, an    
 orientation in the beginning --

87
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:27,100
that he had a primary           
 partner -- and I was like,

88
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,768
"Great, you're not gonna      
     catch feels for me, then."

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00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,770
Like, "This is           
      perfect," which, like...

90
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,106
that's not how it works, but    
   that's how I wanted it to work

91
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,565
at the time.

92
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,110
Falling deeply, madly       
    in love with Lorena was, like,

93
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,654
not-- I didn't think that    
     that was in the cards of what

94
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,155
would happen.

95
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:44,784
What are you thinking,        
 Aryn, when you're hearing this?

96
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:48,121
Honestly, it makes me really      
 glad that Lorena's in Josh's

97
00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:52,292
life because I want Josh to    
   have all the connection that...

98
00:04:52,332 --> 00:04:55,628
he wants, and I want connection 
     for myself in other places.

99
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,464
Like, one of Josh's       
     concerns I think is so funny;

100
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,842
in the beginning, he was like,    
 "I'm afraid I'm never gonna be

101
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,176
enough for you,"

102
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,970
and I almost laughed     
        comically 'cause I'm like,

103
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,471
"Oh, you won't be enough.

104
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:08,474
I  will  want to connect 
            with multiple people,"

105
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:11,019
but I always want Josh   
          to be my anchor partner,

106
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,813
and I know that I want, like, 
     other people to bring out new

107
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,316
parts of me       
              and new sides of me.

108
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,150
So...

109
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,820
And I love that Josh and Lorena 
   get to do that for each other,

110
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:24,490
especially because I can be     
 so invested in my career and...

111
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:25,992
What's the career?

112
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,827
Training and            
         performing circus.

113
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,663
So I split time             
 between New York, Las Vegas,

114
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,541
and touring around the    
        country slash cruise ships

115
00:05:33,582 --> 00:05:36,044
and the Mediterranean.

116
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:36,836
-So...               
      -[Josh and Lorena laugh]

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00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:42,050
When I first, like, decided    
    to commit to circus full time,

118
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,010
it really took me on the road.

119
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,679
So tell me something about that.

120
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,681
I'm, like...

121
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,016
the "local partner," I guess?

122
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,517
Or I don't really know if      
      I actually have a word;

123
00:05:51,558 --> 00:05:53,019
that's the first time I've     
      ever said that out loud.

124
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,188
That's the first time you've      
   ever said that, for sure.

125
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:58,066
-But, like--             
     -The local partner? Okay.

126
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:01,694
It's interesting 'cause I get    
 to spend way more time with Josh

127
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,529
than Aryn does.

128
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:06,699
And so, like a                 
 year into us dating,

129
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,744
Josh was like, "What's       
       our future together?"

130
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,913
And I was like, "Um...

131
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,915
I don't-- I don't think       
     about the future, really.

132
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:16,417
Like, um..."            
              [laughs]

133
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:17,168
It's just not...

134
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,045
You wanna talk about why you      
 don't think about the future?

135
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,213
Yeah, I mean, definitely!

136
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:24,050
So, like-- so my mom, uh...

137
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,885
had ovarian cancer,

138
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:29,097
and she was given a month      
   to live and proceeded to live

139
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,223
for another seven years.

140
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:31,849
Wow.

141
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:36,604
But there was, like, seven years 
    of this intensity of, like,

142
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,231
-"When is she gonna die?"      
              -Right.

143
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,233
[Lorena] And so thinking      
   about the future became, like,

144
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,025
the enemy.

145
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:45,947
I have, like, a hyper response    
 of fear and dread and just that

146
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,573
it means death, and, uh--

147
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,243
How old were you               
 when she was diagnosed?

148
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:53,788
I was a senior in          
        college, so 21? 22?

149
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,248
[Josh] I think that's, like, 
       important to know, right?

150
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:59,419
It's like her entire 20s    
      were essentially taken by...

151
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,921
the impending dread         
        of her mom passing.

152
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:06,259
And that then definitely,      
 definitely compromises my, like,

153
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,261
capacity -- especially then --   
          and just, like,

154
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,763
ability to even           
      be in the conversation,

155
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:11,973
let alone, like, have it.

156
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,266
Just being like, "Oh my God."

157
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,767
I just, like,            
    immediately don't feel safe.

158
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:15,476
Like, "I don't wanna         
      talk about the future."

159
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:19,772
Like, I-- I, like, just       
    had this somatic experience.

160
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:23,276
And so for me, I had this     
    continuous feeling that Lorena

161
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:24,944
-was just gonna vanish...      
          -[Orna] Mm-hm.

162
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,780
'Cause we would have         
    these hot-cold experiences,

163
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,615
-not full communication...     
              -Mm-hm.

164
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,117
And so I was like,

165
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,119
"Okay, we can't plan            
 anything that's more than

166
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,954
a week away,

167
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,664
you love me,

168
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,000
I love you...

169
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,169
What does a future                
   even look like?"

170
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:41,919
Mm-hm.

171
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,964
We're not doing, like, the     
 heteronormative traditional path

172
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,300
of, like, we're not         
        gonna get married,

173
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:50,470
and I'm like, "Ooh, the       
    easy balls are, like, out,"

174
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,805
and I wanted Aryn in   
             the conversation too,

175
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:55,308
'cause I was like, "I             
 don't really know...

176
00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:56,808
Where do I fit?"

177
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,478
And at the time,          
        you guys were, like,

178
00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:01,981
primary partners, and that meant 
   something very specific to me,

179
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,150
which was like, "Well,        
    I'm your secondary partner,

180
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,152
so, like, I don't really...

181
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,653
I don't know what          
        you guys are doing,

182
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,989
so in that...

183
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,283
alignment...

184
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,828
what does that look like?"

185
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:20,875
♪moody synth music♪

186
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,194
[chuckling] Oh my God...

187
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,571
[whispering] Babe, stop!

188
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,033
Sit down.

189
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,870
[laughs]

190
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,375
[Rex VO] It was a hidden      
 relationship from her mother...

191
00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:05,044
-[Orna] Uh-huh.           
      -For I think six years?

192
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,921
Why was it hidden?

193
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,550
'Cause she's a          
    Christian, I'm also Christian.

194
00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:15,596
It was a non-negotiable that my   
 partner had to be a Christian.

195
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,431
What was your affiliation?

196
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,392
I was pretty much atheist.

197
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:20,059
[Orna] Mm-hm.

198
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,603
I didn't meet the          
 prerequisites right off the bat.

199
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:23,563
[Orna] Mm-hm.

200
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,064
[Joey] I was living with my mom.

201
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:25,773
Mm-hm.

202
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:30,069
I thought that once we got 
        married and we were living

203
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:34,574
together, things would improve   
   between my mom and my husband,

204
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,784
and that did not happen.

205
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:40,580
It actually             
    progressively became worse.

206
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:41,414
What was going on?

207
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,792
Every day, I would be subjected 
   to her saying something really

208
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:47,253
negative, and...

209
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,798
at some point, she just stopped 
   acknowledging us all together.

210
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:51,591
Oh!

211
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,094
She pretty much told me that   
    [chuckling] she had thought he

212
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,762
was, like, the Devil.

213
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:59,473
She told me she had   
             seen, like, a vision,

214
00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:01,767
-and that she believed--      
    -[Orna] She'd seen a vision?

215
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:06,814
Yeah, she had seen a vision     
    that he was a black blob...

216
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,274
-Headless...             
      -Representing a demon--

217
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,942
-[Orna] What did you say?      
           -Headless...

218
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:13,154
Headless-- no, bodiless and...

219
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,448
being dragged around.

220
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:18,993
Uh, Rex, what do you--            
     tell me your...

221
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:23,789
version of what's going on.

222
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,960
We just tried to           
 conclude that it was because...

223
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:31,297
Joey was just living 
              with her mom for...

224
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:35,301
over 30 years, and I'm just a     
 new man in the house and she's

225
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,678
just not comfortable with that.

226
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,807
But I didn't really         
        feel affected by...

227
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,643
her mom.

228
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,144
How do you do that?

229
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,480
She doesn't really                
 attack me at all,

230
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,814
she...

231
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:52,151
really just goes          
          behind me and...

232
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,988
yells at-- yells          
         everything at Joey

233
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,490
in Korean.

234
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,992
[Joey] I didn't know   
             what to do, honestly.

235
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:03,329
I had very          
        complicated emotions of...

236
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,664
"Could she be right?"

237
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:05,373
[chuckles]

238
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:10,044
"Maybe I am making the       
 biggest mistake of my life or...

239
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:14,006
or maybe I have to sever my     
    relationship with my mom to

240
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,549
protect my marriage,"

241
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:18,344
and that's kind           
          of what we did.

242
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,679
-In December...           
          -[Orna] Mm-hm.

243
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,683
We-- I actively           
     looked for places for her,

244
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,851
and I found an           
         apartment for her,

245
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,396
and now, it's been...

246
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,690
four months since      
          we've been living apart.

247
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:32,024
[Orna] Mm-hm.

248
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,859
Not talking.

249
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,362
Not talking since          
        the end of January,

250
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,198
so I haven't spoken to her.     
          [inhales deeply]

251
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,034
But I was so broken, you know?

252
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:47,164
Like, I was so heartbroken that   
   this is our situation and...

253
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,584
that's when I knew, like...

254
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,877
-I'm not okay.           
           -[Orna] Mm-hm.

255
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,421
Like, I'm still                
 working through this.

256
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:56,716
Like, four months is              
 not enough time to...

257
00:11:56,757 --> 00:12:00,720
detach all this           
    codependency, deep-rooted...

258
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,723
whatever I have           
        with my mom, and...

259
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,391
I just don't wanna            
 accept that this is, like,

260
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,893
my reality but...

261
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:12,064
I don't know what                 
 else to do, and...

262
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,899
I also wanna                
 protect my marriage, too,

263
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:16,777
'cause I chose this,             
 and I don't regret it.

264
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:20,072
Tell me more about what's      
 going on between the two of you.

265
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,074
Because she was 
                   so against him,

266
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:25,077
when she said      
              things that would...

267
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:28,080
make me wonder, like,        
     why she doesn't like him,

268
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:31,917
it's hard to not have some kind   
 of doubt that crosses your mind

269
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,420
to be like, "Maybe I'm       
      not-- maybe she's right,

270
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,755
maybe I'm making          
         the wrong choice,"

271
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,923
so there was a lot of        
     that fear in my marriage.

272
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:39,925
-Can I stop you for a second?    
        -[Joey] Absolutely.

273
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,470
How do you feel hearing that?

274
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,306
Again, unaffected.

275
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,766
-[Orna] You feel unaffected...   
               -Yes.

276
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,434
[Orna] By that?

277
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:49,602
Yes.

278
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:50,060
[chuckles]

279
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,980
Um...                
       any thoughts on that?

280
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:56,484
I always want him to communicate 
      and express more of his

281
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:57,234
emotions, and so--

282
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,613
But there's one thing that      
   has to do with communication,

283
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:03,783
but Rex, you're           
     saying you're unaffected.

284
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:08,913
Joey's talking about how her    
   mother inserts doubt into her.

285
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,499
Right.

286
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:15,503
[Orna] And you're saying        
 you're not affected by that.

287
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,963
I'm just surprised.

288
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:21,842
I always worry he's         
       repressing things and,

289
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,303
at the moment, he          
     thinks he's unaffected...

290
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:24,970
[Orna] Mm-hm.

291
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:28,349
But, later on, it's         
     gonna explode in some way,

292
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,642
-and then--             
             -Does it?

293
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,144
I know that whenever             
 we get into arguments,

294
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:35,481
it's almost like          
         we're breaking up.

295
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,691
So then I'm just--         
              I cave;

296
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,027
every single time, I cave.

297
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,654
[Orna] You cave   
                 and what happens?

298
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:44,990
Like, "You're right,         
     you're right, I'm sorry."

299
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,159
It's always your way.

300
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,494
It has to be your way.

301
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,496
My opinions...

302
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,665
don't matter.

303
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:56,335
♪tender synth music♪

304
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,003
[Orna, in high pitch] 
                Come on, Nico!

305
00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:01,465
-Hi, [in Hebrew] honey!       
      -Hi, [in Hebrew] honey!

306
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:06,178
I thought that the          
      way to do it is to say,

307
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,306
"Okay, think about identity."

308
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,561
[Orna] Oh my God,          
         look at the stage!

309
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,895
Orna, nice to meet you.

310
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,897
-[Eyal] Eyal, nice to meet you.   
         -Nice to meet you.

311
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,567
Like 150 people...

312
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,695
It would be good-- obviously,    
      we wanna be able to see

313
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:23,863
the audience so we can...

314
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,197
Very little difference between

315
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,241
-the stage and audience.      
           -[Orna] Great.

316
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,743
-♪♪♪                
             -[applause]

317
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:30,411
Welcome.

318
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:33,038
We've been working on       
        this presentation for

319
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,707
more than a year.

320
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,250
Really excited.

321
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,586
[Eyal VO] We all live with     
     some level of discomfort,

322
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:39,879
sometimes shame.

323
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,882
And for me,             
     psychoanalysis is about...

324
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:46,385
allowing someone else        
     into those private parts,

325
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,721
and then life            
         becomes more real,

326
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:51,056
less alienated.

327
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,392
[Orna VO] Some decades ago,     
    couples therapy work was all

328
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,227
about active listening,

329
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,937
like validating and...

330
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,731
So yeah, active    
                listening is good,

331
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,566
validating is good,

332
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,402
but really, what couples     
     are fighting about are, like,

333
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,070
real issues.

334
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:08,240
Communication is just,       
      like, where it shows up.

335
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,909
When we first met, how            
 many jobs did I have?!

336
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,243
I worked two jobs               
 and I went to school!

337
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,036
Comparing again!

338
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:16,582
[Orna VO] What psychoanalysis     
 introduced was the idea that we

339
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:20,294
are motivated by          
         unconscious forces.

340
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,088
We know that what         
          people are saying

341
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:26,425
is only part of           
          what's going on.

342
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:31,096
Analysts listen for        
        unconscious material,

343
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:35,434
and how the past          
         might be hijacking

344
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,771
their experience right now.

345
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,775
-Hello!               
            -[both] Hi!

346
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,401
[Orna] Hi!

347
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,281
[Elíana] I feel like I       
     have a lot riding on this,

348
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,784
like for me and my         
         kid -- or  our  kid.

349
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:53,118
-Yeah.               
           -[Orna] Mm-hm.

350
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,287
And, like, I may be               
 a little prideful,

351
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:56,664
but I don't like to         
         get things wrong.

352
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:58,624
[chuckles]             
      So, like, I feel like...

353
00:15:58,665 --> 00:16:01,627
it would be me getting          
 another relationship wrong.

354
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:02,836
Mm.

355
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,630
[Elíana] Because, right       
      now, we live separate.

356
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:05,172
[Orna] Mm-hm.

357
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,300
He lives with his                
 mother in the Bronx,

358
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,970
and I live with our son           
 by myself in Brooklyn.

359
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:11,804
[Orna] Mm-hm.

360
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,806
And then he comes over...

361
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,350
we'll round it out to about 32   
    hours, something like that,

362
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,310
so he comes in on          
   Wednesday night and he leaves

363
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,145
Friday morning.

364
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,480
I feel like a rent-a-wife.

365
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,482
Like, it's like,                
 "Okay, you get to...

366
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,984
come over,

367
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:27,528
you wanna have sex,              
 you wanna be intimate,

368
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,321
you wanna eat the                
 food from my house,

369
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,824
but then you get to go back to    
 your mom's house and not worry

370
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:35,995
about daycare and drop-offs and   
 pick-ups and food and laundry."

371
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,496
You're smiling.

372
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:38,497
Yeah.

373
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,999
What are you thinking?

374
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,710
She's expressed her desire       
 to have me around full time,

375
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,169
and I wanna be around full time.

376
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,671
-[Orna] You do?           
              -Yeah!

377
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:46,714
So when I--

378
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,716
So both of you                    
 wish for that?

379
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,009
-Mm-hm.               
            -Absolutely.

380
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,721
So when I spoke to her 
            about being full time,

381
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:57,016
she says, "Okay, well, you know, 
   because our son is at the age

382
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,852
where routine is           
      very important for him,

383
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:04,565
let's sort of, like, slowly   
     phase you into our schedule."

384
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,858
The literal next                  
 day, she changes;

385
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:10,029
she says, "I'd only            
 feel right about it if...

386
00:17:10,069 --> 00:17:11,905
we got engaged first,"       
       because, essentially,

387
00:17:11,946 --> 00:17:14,366
she needed the commitment

388
00:17:14,407 --> 00:17:17,202
before being able to     
        move forward with me being

389
00:17:17,243 --> 00:17:18,871
in the home full time.

390
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:20,079
So you're moving the goalpost.

391
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,749
-It's sort of--           
       -Can we-- I get that.

392
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:22,915
Can we backtrack?

393
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,919
Tell me how you                
 arrived at this point.

394
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:27,713
Did you live together before?...

395
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,048
[Elíana] Exactly,    
             we did live together.

396
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,258
-How did we get to this point?   
          -[Elíana] Okay.

397
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,217
[Orna] You're smiling.

398
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:33,719
Yeah, so, uh...

399
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:34,887
[chuckles]

400
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:36,555
-Uh...               
    -[Orna] You're both smiling!

401
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:39,391
[chuckling] Yeah, so we--      
    we did live together before.

402
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,393
We didn't get along at all.

403
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:42,019
Uh-huh!

404
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,396
And we're laughing             
 about it because, like...

405
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,564
-you know, we've--         
          -It was stupid.

406
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,732
-Yeah!                
           -Like, like--

407
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,483
In retrospect, yeah.

408
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:51,570
Like, we didn't talk, really,     
   about, like, expectations,

409
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:54,073
and this is             
        gonna sound like...

410
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,742
I'm sorry,             
      [chuckling] but, like...

411
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,577
my man didn't even know           
 how to clean a bathroom,

412
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:01,288
so, like, that would             
 lit-- like, in my mind,

413
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:04,750
I'm like, "How have you          
 been walking this Earth...

414
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,752
for 25 years at the time,

415
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,253
and not know how to         
        clean a bathroom?"

416
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,756
My delivery is            
 something I've been working on.

417
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:14,259
I would be like,                 
 "How in the fuck?"

418
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:14,760
[Orna] Mm-hm.

419
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,929
And I would be                 
 very angry with him.

420
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:18,806
And what do you     
             think of that, Mitch?

421
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,099
[Mitch] Um...

422
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:20,766
[chuckling] You                 
 have some feelings?

423
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:21,934
It was awful.

424
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:22,935
[chuckling] Honestly.

425
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:24,478
It was awful.

426
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,814
Her communicating          
         to me about, like,

427
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:29,316
cleaning, it's just like,      
      "Okay, so you didn't...

428
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,777
know how to clean a bathroom.

429
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:34,488
Who do you think           
       cleaned it, fairies?"

430
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,282
You're attacking me        
   instead of us attack the issue.

431
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,826
That sort of takes 
                us off the course,

432
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,955
and doesn't necessarily help     
   us win at the end of the day,

433
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:46,125
and a win in that situation     
 would have been her teaching me

434
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,292
-how to clean...          
           -[Orna] Mm-hm.

435
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,961
The bathroom,

436
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:52,506
which would result in        
      having a clean bathroom.

437
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,008
What ended up happening is he    
 decided one morning that he was

438
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,637
just gonna pack up and        
      go from that apartment,

439
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,306
and he was like, "Hey,           
 this is not working out."

440
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:02,975
You're missing a                  
 lot of context...

441
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:03,600
Okay.

442
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,145
As to what happened    
           that led to me leaving,

443
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:09,148
because it wasn't just me      
     deciding to leave one day.

444
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,691
You know that.

445
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:14,153
I decided to leave the home     
 because this was a sinking ship,

446
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,865
and me leaving would        
        have saved our ship.

447
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:20,325
She took it as me 
                 quitting on her.

448
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,328
I'm not running away,        
       I'm trying to save us,

449
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:24,037
and...

450
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,206
How did you feel leaving?

451
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,000
I feel like...

452
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,335
the captain of a ship

453
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:33,297
where my crew mate 
                doesn't trust me.

454
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:39,344
I kind of missed how your         
 son came into the picture,

455
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,513
so how did that happen?

456
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:44,391
We ended up hanging out a      
     lot more and just, like,

457
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,393
getting back into,          
      like, our normal thing.

458
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,854
I was just like,

459
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:52,357
"I'll be 30 in...

460
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,860
a little over a year."

461
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,196
-Mm-hm.               
           -"So, like...

462
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,697
are you okay with having a kid?

463
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:01,366
Like, is that something       
       that we're gonna do?"

464
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:04,912
It was a decision that I        
 was comfortable with because,

465
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,538
at the time, we were         
       in a very good space,

466
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,874
and we were in a           
         good space for...

467
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,376
for, uh, months at a time.

468
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:11,960
Mm!

469
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:15,589
I was like, "Look,     
          like, I've had a very...

470
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,591
hard time conceiving        
        and stuff like that,

471
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,219
and that was ultimately       
      one of the issues with

472
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,887
my ex-husband and I."

473
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:26,058
Our son was my sixth pregnancy;   
 I had five miscarriages before.

474
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,559
It was a very big deal to me.

475
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,186
[Orna] Mm-hm.

476
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,563
[Elíana] But now, it doesn't    
 feel like we're a partnership in

477
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,065
most cases.

478
00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:34,608
Like, this is                    
 a relationship,

479
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,068
but I felt like                  
 coming back home,

480
00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,903
I was coming                
 back home to a teenager,

481
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:38,654
to be like, "Did                  
 he do the dishes?

482
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:41,573
Did he take out, you know,      
    the fish from the freezer?"

483
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:45,953
-- bare minimal things that       
 if I had a 15-year-old kid

484
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:48,413
living with me would know...

485
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,791
that they would have to       
     take care of these things.

486
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,292
What are you thinking, Mitch?

487
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:55,754
Her comparing my actions      
      to a 15-year-old kid...

488
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,089
[Orna] Yeah.

489
00:20:57,130 --> 00:21:00,092
She doesn't see how         
     this is offensive at all.

490
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:03,262
If you love someone, you 
          treat them with respect,

491
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:05,973
because why would you wanna    
   attack the character of someone

492
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,141
you love?

493
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:14,815
♪pensive quirky music♪

494
00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:42,843
Okay, so look...

495
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,303
This is...

496
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,346
the aliens...

497
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,472
What?!

498
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:49,308
[man] This is the mothership.

499
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:51,643
And then it's coming    
           to attack the building.

500
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,854
And then this is the             
 blood that's shedding.

501
00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:57,482
And then these are the feets 
      of the people who ran away.

502
00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,651
You don't see that?

503
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,324
If we're not            
          currently, like,

504
00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:06,992
-fighting about something...    
         -[Orna VO] Mm-hm.

505
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,161
[Casimar VO] It's just,      
        like, super blissful.

506
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:09,703
I see.

507
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:12,331
And then the second               
 something happens,

508
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:14,499
it's like the                  
 walls are caving in,

509
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,502
the ground opens up,        
   the bats fly out...it's crazy.

510
00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:19,504
Yeah, no, that's the thing        
   about our relationship:

511
00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:23,842
that when it's good, it's      
    really, really good, and...

512
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:26,678
it just takes,            
         like, a pin drop,

513
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,348
and then it's [chuckling]      
        really, really bad.

514
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:30,640
So...

515
00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:33,518
maybe you're both          
     really good dissociaters?

516
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,687
-Well, I am, for sure. [laughs]   
      -Well, funny enough...

517
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,898
-[Orna] Uh-huh.           
          -[Alexes] Yeah.

518
00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:40,359
He actually dissociates.

519
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,237
So, do you wanna just help me--   
 just how much do you dissociate?

520
00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:46,490
What's your...?

521
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,701
We're jumping right in,       
      so tell me your speed.

522
00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:50,702
I mean,               
     [chuckling] apparently...

523
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:53,246
[cracks knuckles]          
               um...

524
00:22:54,414 --> 00:22:56,375
[sighs]

525
00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:59,544
You look like you...

526
00:22:59,586 --> 00:23:00,879
think it's...

527
00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:03,715
the best to not say anything.

528
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:06,885
Sometimes, it's           
      easier for me to speak,

529
00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:08,929
-and then he'll jump in.      
         -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

530
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:11,556
So I-- I guess            
    there's just kind of, like,

531
00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:14,601
a moment where it just        
 gets so heightened to the point

532
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:18,897
that his conscious self is     
 like, "I can't do this anymore."

533
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:23,235
And, like, he won't         
 remember the rest of the night.

534
00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:24,736
So...

535
00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:26,571
So...you dissociate.

536
00:23:26,613 --> 00:23:27,447
[Alexes] Yeah.

537
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:28,740
[Orna] Okay.

538
00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:32,244
So you're saying your           
 relationship goes through

539
00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:33,912
certain periods           
       that you're like this,

540
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:36,581
and then other periods       
       when the bats are out?

541
00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:40,085
Yeah, there are some times when   
 we have [chuckling] one fight...

542
00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:41,420
Yeah, and then     
              we're, like, fight--

543
00:23:41,461 --> 00:23:43,964
It's, like, three                 
 months of, like...

544
00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:45,924
a struggle to...

545
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:47,300
[Orna] To get            
        back from the fight?

546
00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:48,301
Yeah.

547
00:23:48,343 --> 00:23:50,595
What are the main issues?

548
00:23:50,637 --> 00:23:52,264
[Alexes] Family dynamics.

549
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:56,810
I don't have family because     
    I've ex-communicated from...

550
00:23:56,852 --> 00:24:00,605
myself from the family       
   who's been very abusive to me,

551
00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:03,108
but then his dynamic 
               with his family...

552
00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:06,820
he will still defend them, even   
 if they're hurtful towards him.

553
00:24:06,862 --> 00:24:11,283
And in all of our issues,   
       I think this is our main...

554
00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:13,285
like, catalyst that...

555
00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:15,954
we come from very              
 different perspectives.

556
00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:16,538
[Orna] Mm-hm.

557
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,457
Because you'll have 
               different versions?

558
00:24:18,498 --> 00:24:21,001
[Casimar] Not only          
    different ver-- actually...

559
00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:22,127
[chuckling] Yes,           
        we will have diff--

560
00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:24,629
No, we will have   
                 the same version!

561
00:24:24,671 --> 00:24:26,465
-I don't think so.         
      -We don't make up stuff.

562
00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:28,467
What we have are           
        different feelings.

563
00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:31,136
To the both of us,   
               this is right here.

564
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,637
-No...                
 -I just see it from this angle;

565
00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:35,682
I see the logo and you don't.

566
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:38,518
-No...               
         -You see the logo?

567
00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:41,480
I see the...

568
00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:44,149
the bottle about to explode,

569
00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:45,650
and me...

570
00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:49,529
holding it together         
       and my hands bleeding.

571
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:52,657
You're saying you          
       feel things intensely.

572
00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:56,161
If something is really bad,       
 you're saying you just go...

573
00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:58,497
to sever the relationship,

574
00:24:58,538 --> 00:25:01,333
so that's kind of    
              an intense reaction.

575
00:25:01,374 --> 00:25:01,917
Yeah, for sure.

576
00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:06,671
And you're saying    
             about Casimar, you...

577
00:25:06,713 --> 00:25:09,049
-I guess tolerate more?       
      -Well, yeah, because--

578
00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:12,385
[Orna] Or you don't have     
     that intensity of a reaction?

579
00:25:12,427 --> 00:25:15,347
To you, it's not an 
                exploding bottle.

580
00:25:15,388 --> 00:25:17,182
Yeah, to me, it's not        
       an exploding bottle.

581
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:17,724
[Orna] Right.

582
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:21,394
What would be your 
                response to that?

583
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,901
[Casimar sighs]

584
00:25:31,404 --> 00:25:33,031
I'm afraid of the fighting.

585
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:33,865
[Orna] Mm-hm.

586
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:35,742
I'm afraid of...          
              [sighs]

587
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:38,828
It's the          
          intensity of the fights.

588
00:25:42,415 --> 00:25:43,416
What happens?

589
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:47,045
I don't like--                
 like, it's the yelling,

590
00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:49,047
the drinking,

591
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:50,882
the...

592
00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:52,717
name calling,

593
00:25:52,759 --> 00:25:54,386
and when it      
               gets to that point,

594
00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:56,596
it feels helpless.

595
00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:57,138
[Orna] Mm-hm.

596
00:25:57,138 --> 00:25:59,933
-He's my best friend!        
          -[Orna] Mm-hm.

597
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,019
I want it to work.

598
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:09,734
I don't want the anger.

599
00:26:10,777 --> 00:26:12,404
[Orna] Mm-hm.

600
00:26:12,445 --> 00:26:14,030
What are you thinking?

601
00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:16,575
I mean, this is kind of where   
    I was talking about the bottle

602
00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:17,909
-earlier.              
           -[Orna] Mm-hm.

603
00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:22,080
That I do want the         
          anger sometimes.

604
00:26:22,455 --> 00:26:27,627
♪jaunty rock music♪

605
00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:36,303
♪I'm tied inside a net♪

606
00:26:36,511 --> 00:26:39,097
♪Tired of breathing sweat♪

607
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,808
♪I got a cloud           
           around my head♪

608
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:44,644
♪Babe, believe what I said♪

609
00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:47,105
♪Inside lookin' out♪

610
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,649
♪Got no place to shout♪

611
00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:51,610
♪Don't crowd me♪

612
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:54,154
♪Yeah, don't crowd me♪

613
00:26:54,195 --> 00:26:57,073
♪Oh, baby, don't crowd me♪

614
00:26:57,365 --> 00:26:59,326
♪Don't push me in♪

615
00:27:00,827 --> 00:27:03,163
♪Man, get outta my way♪

616
00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:05,790
♪I'm sick of            
           trying to stay♪

617
00:27:05,832 --> 00:27:07,626
♪Don't crowd me♪

618
00:27:07,667 --> 00:27:09,794
♪Mm, baby, don't crowd me♪

619
00:27:09,836 --> 00:27:11,171
♪Gimme air, gimme time♪

620
00:27:11,212 --> 00:27:13,131
♪Don't crowd me♪

621
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:15,425
♪Don't push me in♪

622
00:27:16,843 --> 00:27:18,637
♪Don't crowd me♪

623
00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:20,847
♪Yeah, don't crowd me♪

624
00:27:20,889 --> 00:27:22,307
♪Oh, baby, so hard♪

625
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,267
♪Don't crowd me♪

626
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,811
♪Don't push me in♪

627
00:27:26,853 --> 00:27:31,858
♪♪♪

628
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,712
♪My soul is crying for air♪

629
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:55,340
♪There's freedom          
           I can't share♪

630
00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:58,551
♪When I'm trying         
         to make some, girl♪

631
00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:01,513
♪I'm trapped           
          inside this world♪

632
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,182
♪Why am I always rushed?♪

633
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:06,559
♪Why's independence crushed?♪

634
00:28:06,601 --> 00:28:08,186
♪Don't crowd me♪

635
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:09,354
♪Say it's all right♪

636
00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:10,689
♪Don't crowd me♪

637
00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:12,023
♪Oh, it's all right♪

638
00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:13,525
♪Don't crowd me♪

639
00:28:13,566 --> 00:28:16,194
♪Oh, baby, don't          
           crowd me now♪

640
00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:17,529
♪It's all right,          
          it's all right♪

641
00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:22,950
♪Don't crowd me...♪